If one partner requires a lot of closeness while the other partner requires a lot of independence, there will be dissonance in the relationship. This larger issue- easy to feel, but hard to identify- tends to involve a mismatch in intimacy needs. It is when we find ourselves in very complicated relationships that we realize there may be something greater at play.
We are all aware that relationships can be complicated at times. Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.” “Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back.Īvoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly tried to minimize closeness. Attached is one of my favorite recent reads.įor anyone who has ever found themselves in a “complicated relationship,” this book provides a behind-the-scenes look into the psychological/physiological/sociological reasons as to why.Īs a couple’s therapist who relies heavily on Attachment Theory to explain the dynamics of human relationships, this book does a good job of explaining the three fundamental ways in which human beings attach:
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